A day late again, but to be honest, I needed those two days to recover from the emotional wound left by this episode. It was quite an intense episode, although it did have its ‘what the hell is happening?’ moments. Not all of it made sense. Pretty much the whole idea of capturing a wight to show Cersei did not make sense. But hey, the Night King is pretty pleased right now. Damn this show. Anyway, let’s go and take a look at what happened beyond that goddamn wall. (Also: read our recaps for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 here)
The battle of the sisters
After a shot of Dany’s room with no one in it, we find ourselves at Winterfell, where Arya joins Sansa on the balcony overlooking the courtyard. Arya shares a lovely memory of their father and all appears to be good in the hood. But then Arya drops the bomb. She accuses Sansa of betraying their family and shows her the letter which Littlefinger made Arya find.
I always thought Arya was smarter than this, but she is going full on psycho-mode here without even considering for a single moment that this could be a set-up. After all those hours training to be an assassin, someone could have taught her logical thinking. Or is that too much to ask? Arya tells Sansa she was in the courtyard the day Ned got killed and saw Sansa do nothing. Sansa argues that Arya did not do much either. Which is true because they were kids watching their father get murdered. I mean, come on.
Arya plays the Lyanna Mormont card and argues that she wouldn’t have done what Sansa had done, even though she is even younger. For the record, nobody is as cool as Lyanna. She is a beast and it is unfair to compare anyone to her. Sansa then snaps out of it and tells Arya she should be on her knees thanking her because Sansa was the reason they got Winterfell back. She argues that Arya would not have survived what she had and that Cersei would love to see them fighting. All fair points, but Arya is not impressed. I am not impressed by Arya.
Sansa then does the exact thing she should not do; consult Littlefinger. Littlefinger swears he has no idea where Arya found the letter. Oh the lies and the deceit! Sansa mopes about the alliance of the Stark bannermen changing very quickly. Littlefinger then goes on to make Sansa believe Arya might hurt her, and tells her that Brienne would surely intervene considering she swore to protect both girls. Why the hell does Sansa still trust this man? He only wants you for your hot body and your power, girl. He is definitely pushing Sansa to seize more power, especially now that Jon is out there chasing wights. Sansa, honey, do not be scared and do not trust Regina George in sheep’s clothing.
Later, Sansa receives a letter summoning her to King’s Landing. She refuses to go, and instead orders Brienne to go in her place. Brienne is the only sensible character in this whole show, and tells Sansa that she does not want to leave her alone with Littlefinger. Sansa wrongly tells Brienne she can handle Littlefinger and tells Brienne to hurry. Why would she send Brienne away? Is it because she is not frightened of Arya after all? Or perhaps she plans to have Arya killed. KILL LITTLEFINGER INSTEAD.
The Many-Faced Arya
Sansa is pulling an Arya and searches Arya’s room in order to find the letter, probably. Instead she finds Arya’s faces, just as Arya enters her room. Sansa demands to know what the hell is up and Arya is acting like a full on psycho, revealing she can become whoever she wants to be, even Sansa. All she needs is to cut off Sansa’s face. She says all of this while pointing a dagger at Sansa. Arya does say one thing that is even true today.
“The world just doesn’t let girls decide what they’re going to be.”
Come on, Starks! This is the time to stick together. Go on a nice outing. Have a nice chit-chat. Do not get played! Be the players! As your anchestor Beyoncé Stark once said: Who run the world? GIRLS!
Suicide Squad on a mission
We finally go beyond the wall. The squad do some old-fashioned walking and fighting, as men do. Jon and Berric totally bond over having died and brought back to life. Berrick believes the Lord of Light wanted them to be alive, but Jon is not so certain. I think Berric assumes he is the prince that was promised, but we all know Jon is, so let’s just make that happen.
Gendry is being a little whiny baby who cannot let the fact go that the brotherhood sold him to Melisandre and she wanted to kill him. The Hound is not impressed and tells him not to be a pussy.
“Beric’s been killed six times and you don’t hear him bitching about it.”
Point made. Jon offers Jorah the sword that officially belonged to Jorah’s father, but Jorah is like, nah you keep it. I get the sentiment, Jon, but that’s the only weapon you have with which you can kill those walkers. Perhaps keep it around because while you managed to travel from Dragonstone to the wall within a minute, you did not stop and think about forging weapons from that dragonglass you mined. Just saying.
Tormund bonds with the Hound over their mutual acquaintance Brienne. Tormund tells the Hound he wants to make big babies with her. The Hound is less than impressed. Tormund then shades Jon for not bending the knee. He mentions Mance Ryder and his pride. How many people did that get killed? Yes, Jon! Just bend that knee. Geez. The bonding stops when in the distance, they see a giant polar bear. Gendry definitely has excellent vision, as he can tell from miles away that the bear has blue eyes. Behold! It is not just any polar bear. It is a zombie polar bear! And it attacks!
The Brotherhood comes at him with their fancy fire swords, but zombie bear is not impressed. They all charge at him, except the Hound, who is frightened of the fire. Bless his soul. Thoros is mortally wounded in the attack which ends when someone has the good sense to cut off the bear’s head. Thoros just asks for some alcohol, cause naturally that’s all one needs after nearly dying.
They finally spot a small group of wights and a single walker. This is very convenient, as they would never have managed to steal a wight from that large army. Anyway, they fight and Jon kills the Walker with the sword he did not give to Jorah. All the wights die with the walker, except one because plot convenience! The wight starts screaming and dark clouds gather. Jon then tells Gendry to go back to Eastwatch and send Daenerys a raven. Gendry refuses at first, but then he shows that he has been doing some great cardio and runs to Eastwatch within the blink of an eye. Go Gendry!
Dany missing Jon
Daenerys is very worried about Jon and the boys, although she pretends not to be. Tyrion asks her if she is into Jon, but Dany simply tells him that Jon is too little for her. Ouch, that burn.
Tyrion and Dany then talk about meeting Cersei and Dany is eager to set a trap as Cersei will definitely try to trap Dany. But Tyrion tells Dany to be the better person and roasts her for roasting the Tarlys.
Tyrion then talks about Dany’s succession and Dany is a bit suspicious. She tells Tyrion they will talk about her succession once she owns the crown. Tyrion keeps pushing her but Dany does not want to talk about it. Does this mean Dany is going to die? Please do not let my girl die.
They receive the raven and Dany instantly jumps on Drogon to save the day. Tyrion tries to stop her, telling her she is the most important person in the world and can’t go to that dangerous hell-hole. But Dany has enough of sitting around. She has done that for six seasons. She is ready to save the day now.
Damn you Hound
The boys run from the advancing army of wights and end up on a frozen lake. They wait for a minute, but take the risk anyway and run towards a rock formation in the middle of the frozen lake. The wights can’t come after them as the ice will break, so they are safe for now. The Night King shows up and waves at Jon, who does not wave back. This saddens the Night King.
Thoros dies and is cremated with the use of his own booze. Berric cannot be resurrected again, but he says they should kill the Night King anyway. Fantastic idea. Almost as good as that idea to go and steal a wight.
The Hound kicks the wight they captured to make it scream to lure the other wights into attacking, but to no avail. He then throws a rock at a wight, only to hit him in the jaw. The wight does not think this is cool. The Hound throws another rock which lands in front of the wight. Stupid idea as the Wight now realises the ice is thick enough to walk on. Damn you, Hound!
Fighting ensues and I am very high in my stress levels. Especially when Tormund is almost dragged under water. You still have to make monster babies with Brienne, Tor! Luckily the Hound saves him. Things are looking very bad for our boys, when Daenerys arrives to burn some wights down.
Dany lands Drogon and orders everyone to get up, but Jon wants to be a hero and kill some more wights off. For fuck’s sake Jon! In the meantime, the Night King grabs a spear and as if he is an Olympic Javelin Champion, he makes that thing shoot right through our boy Viserion, who dies a painful death. This is when I scream I will never watch this show again. The Night King takes a second spear to hit Drogon. DO NOT TOUCH DROGON!
Jon orders them to leave as he is being the hero again. He has that mad look in his eyes because they touched his girl’s child. They can only just escape and the spear misses its target. Thank fuck. Jon falls through the broken ice. He dead. But not really. He climbs out of the water and I scream for Rhaegal to come and save Jon’s ass. Instead, Benjen Stark comes to the rescue because his plot needed resolving. He puts Jon on the back of his horse and Jon tells him to come along, but Benjen is like “Nah man, gotta die a senseless death. Goodbye.”
Back at Eastwatch, Jorah tells Dany they should leave and Dany says she needs just a minute. As she is about to go, she sees the horse with Jon on top of it. This is true love yo. Incest, but they don’t know that yet. Jon is put in a bed to rest and Dany comes in and sees his stab wounds and his abs. Jon wakes an apologises, saying he wished they had never gone there. Dany says it is okay, because now she finally saw the death herself. Jon calls her Dany, and she is not a fan of that as it reminds her of her brother. I do not care though. I am not going to type Daenerys a million times.
A sweet moment happens in which Dany promises Jon to fight this war with him and Jon promises Dany to bend the knee, but he is not physically able to do so now. Jon tells Dany she is his queen and she gets all emotional. Even I do. But I am still crying because of that dragon.
Back beyond the wall, the Night King went to Home Depot to get some chains to pull up Viserion’s body from the ice. He touches the dragon’s head and it opens its eyes, revealing that bright blue. Aww shit.