Another week, another episode of Game of Thrones. And even though it was the shortest one so far, it had enough drama and action to satisfy our needs. Let’s all applaud Arya and Daenerys for being total badasses in Spoils of War. And Drogon. Oh my god! But I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s begin at the beginning and work our way down to the epicness of it all.
Read our previous recaps here: episode 1, episode 2, episode 3. As always, if you want to steer clear of any spoilers, do not read on. If you don’t care or if you’ve already seen the episode, go ahead.
Lannisters always pay their debts
We start in the Red Keep, where the Lannisters are being all happy-go-lucky about their slaughtering of House Tyrell. R.I.P Olenna, you savage woman. Jaime hands Bronn a large bag of gold, but the latter is not too pleased about the fact that he does not have a castle. They quarrel about it, Jaime probably still thinking about the burns Olenna handed to him about his asshole son Joffrey. Bronn asks if all Jaime’s new riches is weighing him down, but Jaime merely states it is all for the Iron Bank. I mean, no offense Jaime, but even you can see shit is going down in the wrong way. Your sister is messed up. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN. Even Bronn does not believe there will be peace under Cersei.
Meanwhile, in King’s Landing, Cersei is meeting with the dude from the Iron Bank. He is very pleased that the Lannister’s debts are repaid in full at once. He does argue that some might miss the interest, but Cersei is not here for that shit. She tries to strike an alliance with the Iron Bank to finance new ships and armies, and Iron Bank Sir says it will all be possible. Do not finance madness, you assholes!
Littlefinger gets his ass handed to him
In his eternal struggle to manipulate the Starks, Littlefinger tries to have a little heart to heart with Bran. He hands him the dagger that was meant to assassinate him. Such a thoughtful gift. I would love to get the weapon which was meant to kill me. Ahum. Anyway, Littlefinger recalls how Bran’s momma (R.I.P) fought off his assassin bravely and also that she was murdered with such a dagger. Bran wants to know who the knife belonged to, as if he doesn’t know. Littlefinger says that very question started this whole shit. He then goes into a dramatic speech about what a ride it has been and that Bran has seen such chaos in the world. Bran just says: “Chaos is a ladder.” Something Littlefinger told Varys in season 3. Littlefinger is visibly uncomfortable by this as he remembers it too. Bran is not here for his shit and Littlefinger knows it.
Baelish leaves and Meera comes in to say goodbye. What follows is an awkward scene in which Bran shows about zero emotion. Meera does tear up and cries that Bran is not himself anymore. Tough shit, at least he is useful now. Anyway, bye Meera. See you when you are a walking corpse again, probably.
Arya the bad-ass
The past few seasons have been hard on Arya and her dull storyline, but it has certainly paid off. Arya finally arrives back at Winterfell, only to not be let in by the guards. She outsmarts them, considering they are pretty dumb. The guards go to see Sansa and apologise for letting her get in, but Sansa just smirks, knowing where to find her sister. They meet at their father’s statue and hug it all out. This is such a pretty scene, especially in its simplicity. Finally good things are happening for the Starks (until those pesky White Walkers will come in again). Sansa tells Arya that Bran is back too and they meet him in the Godswood. Bran tells Arya he saw her at the Crossroads and thought she’d go to King’s Landing. Arya is intrigued and the sisters just look at each other.
Bran shows them the dagger and tells them Littlefinger gave it to him. Sansa is alarmed, knowing that snake won’t do anything without expecting something in return. Bran is not impressed. Arya takes the knife from him because it is Valerian Steel and well, she knows how to wield it.
When they return to King’s Landing, Brienne and Podrick watch the three Stark kids walking around and Pod tells Brienne that Cath would be proud. Hell, even I am proud. Anyway, Podrick and Brienne practise their fighting and Podrick is a mess. In comes Arya who wants to practise with Brienne. Sansa and Littlefinger watch them. Arya is obviously a bad ass assassin by now, and completely destroys Brienne, who is very much impressed. As Brienne asks her who taught her that, Arya just smirks and says: “No one.” The feels yo!
Obviously, Littlefinger noticed that Arya got the dagger and that he better not try to manipulate her because he will end up in pie. He seems to realise that too. No messing around with the Starks any more.
Back in Dragonstone, Dany and Messandei finally do some serious sex talk. Jon interrupts and asks Dany to go into the cave with him. He wants to show her his dragonglass. Well, we all know what happens when you go into a cave with Jon Snow. Anyways, Jon shows the dragonglass and some cave paintings, trying to convince Dany that the White Walkers are real. Dany says she will fight for him and the North. IF HE BENDS THAT GODDAMN KNEE. Honey, let it go.
They leave the cave and Tyrion and Varys inform Dany of her losses. Tyrion wants to go with the initial strategy, but Olenna’s words are still in Dany’s head and she’s had it with his bullshit. She turns to Jon to ask him what she has to do. Jon gives and admirable speech stating that if she uses her dragons to turn everything to ashes, she will just be more of the same.
Davos and Jon have a heart-to-heart and Davos asks Jon if he is interested in the Mother of Dragons. Jon says he has no time for women, but we all know they will make out at some point. They then notice a ship approach. It’s Theon! Theon is obviously taken aback that Jon is chilling on Dragonstone and Jon is less than pleased to see him. Saving Sansa is Theon’s saving grace, because otherwise Jon would have killed him. Anyway, Theon wants to ask for Dany’s help to get his sister back, but Jon tells Theon that she is a bit busy.
Because Dany has not listened to any advice. As Jaime and co still gloat about their victory, the sound of thunder catches their attention. Lo and behold, the Dorthraki are here to end this shit, led by Queen Daenerys on Drogon. Drogon pretty much grills the Lannister army, and they are rightfully afraid. Even Jaime. He orders Bronn to yield the weapon used to fight the dragons. I ust said that I loved Bronn as a character, but honestly I love Drogon more so the moment Bronn shot at my baby dragon, I was yelling at him for being an asshole. Luckily, Drogon was not impressed and destroyed the weapon meant to kill him.
Dany lands Drogon and tries to remove the spear in his wing. Jaime looks at her and thinks he can end it by just going after her. Tyrion watches his brother from the top of the hill, telling him to run. But Jaime is an idiot and charges at Dany anyway. But Drogon is not there for that shit and attempts to incinerate him. Bronn can only push him into the water just in time. And then, as Jaime drowns, the episode ends.
All hail Queen Daenerys
Honestly, I loved Dany before, but now she is just a total bad-ass. I’ve been waiting for this for so long. And Arya is finally showing off her bad-assery too. I cannot wait for the next episode. DRACARYS, BITCHES.