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Music Monday: The dark side of fangirls

You hear a song on the radio and think “Er me gawd this is amazing!” You look up the artist and you fall in love. And before you fully realise it, you are involved in a fandom. It can happen so quickly that you won’t even notice. You’ve told yourself not to get into a new artist anymore, but things happen and now you can’t go back.

And in the beginning it is all fun and games. People welcome you. You feel like you belong in this new world and you quickly make new friends. You admire those who have seen your new favourite artist many times and even met him/her/them! You aspire to achieve the same and buy tickets to see a show. You go to the show, meet all these people you know from the online world and have a blast. You get addicted and go to more and more shows and lo and behold, you meet your favourite artist! And again. And again. And then the artist invites you backstage and you cannot believe it! You share your joy with your online friends and whereas at first they were overjoyed when you got to say hi, the response is a little less enthusiastic now.

And you don’t understand. You thought they were your friends? You thought they would be happy for you but why aren’t they? There are only one or two people left who are cool to you but the rest of them look at you with a side eye. You hear that they are gossiping about you. They call you a bitch and say that you do not deserve the attention. And who are you to come into their fandom and act like a fucking princess? In one single second, you went from being liked to being prosecuted merely because you had gotten something they wanted.

The thing with most fandoms is, everybody is one big family until there is one person who gets a bigger slice of the pie than others. And while initially you wanted to share the slice, people spat on it, trying to tarnish its taste and making you feel bad about the fact that you took in more calories than you were supposed to.

If you think only teenage girls can turn nasty, you are wrong. Jealousy is a thing of all ages. And while teenage girls are more obvious in their dislike and will mostly attack you by passive aggressive tweets, older fans are worse. They stab you in the back when you are not looking, but when they meet you face to face, they are the kindest people you will ever meet. I have never met as many two-faced people as I’ve met in fandoms. They crucify you yet they still want a taste of your piece of the pie.

How do you deal with the darker side of these fangirls? Mostly just let them hate. The thing about hate is that at some point it will consume you. So while they make their own lives miserable, you just enjoy yourself and only let the positive people in your life. You don’t need their negativity so ignore them.

Have you ever had to deal with the dark side of fangirls/boys? Let me know in the comments!

Comments

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Ingrid is the twenty-something owner of The Sassologist, who loves everything that has to do with pop culture. While she is one of many who is in the process of writing a novel, she is also currently in denial over not being a witch. Her Hogwarts letter has yet to arrive. In the meantime she writes about pop culture and dreams about unicorns.

One Comment

  • Silverman

    March 1, 2016 at 4:20 am

    This is a great topic because just like you said, when it all starts, is pure love and chill and fun and everyone is happy for you and as the time goes by, people start to show their true colors, it is sad because fandoms exist supposedly to gather people around the same passion for music/book/saga/character/Cartoon/Etc. to enjoy, support, have adventures, and share everything about said passion, and it is well needed because sometimes only someone with the same passion can understand your excitement about something in particular.
    I’ve been in two fandoms so far in my life, the first one was NEOGAF, a videogame forum with a lot of insiders on the industry where you could always get first dibs on technology and videogames, but it was a looong time ago, that one was quite nice and quite tbqh.
    The second one is the katycat fandom, i’ve been on that fandom for 5 years no (since 2011), and will be on it for the rest of my life (you bet!), and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and adventures and hell yeah a lot of what you just said on this blog entry, it happens more than ppl would think, why? that’s something we will never know! i guess some people can’t be happy by seeing “their loved ones” being happy!! and even if it is someone you don’t know, why wouldn’t you be happy??, seeing other people being happy is amazing! we need more of that in this world instead of drama or anger!
    Nowadays seems like being on a fandom is not only reunite with other ppl with the same passion to support it and have fun together, but more like a game of thrones/house of cards (and whatever other show with its own politics, hierachry, secrets, love, friendship, betrayal, drama, revenge, etc) kinda thing… WHY?!?! o_O

    shade everywhere!! when it should be fun everywhere!!!

    some people just have no common sense
    some people just want to take advantage of the situation
    some people just wants benefits from the ppl they talk to

    but also some people is there to help, love, make happy, support and spread the light, be one of them! fandoms are for being happy and making others happy!! even if people think you’re always overly positive, keep being like that if you’re just like that!
    If someone on your fandom says they are the number 1 fan, yes they are!!! if someone elses says it, yes they are!! if some other says it too, they are too! because after all, a fandom is a unit, we are just one big unit sharing the same passion.

    Your loyal reader,

    Silverman

    P.S. i would like you to write about a fandom, this was like the darkest part of a fangirl, but fandoms are like parallel universes with their own everything, and it would be fun to discuss about it =D i would love more people would comment and discuss this kind of topics, they are fun and cool!!! thanks Ingie for making my mondays way better!!!!

    Reply

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