It happened without a warning. At first I still dared to go out in a light jacket, breathing in the fresh air and believing that life was good. But whenever you think that, life is like “nope” and the pleasant temperatures drop to minus 287639210. The Starks warned us about it, but it is finally here. In October. Dear lord, why?
Despite the fact that most people cry at the thought of going outside when it is freezing, there are always those optimistst who say they just looooooove the cold. We all know that they are lying, but I am going to write about them anyway.
If I ever get children, I hope they will turn out to hate the cold as much as I do, so I won’t have to go out and play in the snow with them. However, little humans who do enjoy the cold exist. Who doesn’t love making angels in the snow and snowmen and sled the night away on a sleigh? Unfortunately, there are little bastards who find it absolutely necessary to throw snowballs at random people. Usually in groups. After all, being a prick is something you do in groups, even when you are still young. Whenever I see those kids with snowballs, or worse iceballs, I give them a threatening look that could kill even a T-Rex in an instant. Usually it works, yet sometimes I am greeted by a snowball in my face. I then curse under my breath and hope that they will one day become responsible adults. I am such a zen person.
People who have no sense of cold.
I once knew a person who was from Eastern-European descent. When I was dressed in six layers and a coat with three pairs of socks and a pair of gloves plus hat, which made me resemble a sumo wrestler, she would walk around in a t-shirt. When I asked her if she had lost her mind, that the ice age was near, that even Yeti shivered at the sight of her, she simply shouted: “IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL WINTER?” She then proceeded to laugh like a maniac and drop to her knees while she rolled in the snow in her t-shirt. It was all very awkward and a week later she had pneumonia. Winter takes no prisoners.
People who actually hate it but don’t want to be one of those negative people.
You know those people who feel like they have to be positive about EVERYTHING? I am quite a positive person, but when I can’t open the door of my car or freeze to the seat of my bicycle, then even I get a bit pessimistic. Unfortunately for all of us, there are people who just love winter. Yes they love sitting in front of the fireplace. They adore all the family meetings and cosiness that December brings. They bake apple pies and post inspirational pictures on instagram, while they tell everybody off for complaining about freezing to death. Either these people never have to leave the house, or they sit in front of their computers and cry, pretending that everything is wonderful. There is nothing wonderful about the cold and your pie is not that good either.
OKAY FINE! The cold doesn’t bother you anyway. Let it go already.
Do you want to survive this Winter?
Because I am a super nice person, I am giving away a surprise box filled with my favourite goodies which help you survive the winter. I am not going to tell you exactly what is in there, but it might be the Frozen Soundtrack. Just kidding. It will be good though, I pinky promise!
All you have to do is like The Sassologist on Facebook. Then leave a comment on this post, saying that YASS you want that box!
Optional is to follow me on Twitter, but I am pretty hilarious so you will only do yourself a pleasure by hitting that follow button.
You have until Friday the 24rd to enter!