My body, my decision

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Unless you’ve lived under a rock, you have probably heard of the outrage that was sparked after hundreds of women were sexuality assaulted in Cologne. Many took the opportunity to say: “SEE IT ARE THE SYRIANS! KICK THEM OUT!” But this article isn’t about who did it, because we are talking about a bigger issue here. I am talking about the fact that apparently women do not own their own bodies anymore.

We are supposed to keep an arm length distance between stranger because obviously that distance can save our lives. We should not dress ‘provocatively’ meaning that when we wear a skirt or a dress, we are basically asking to get raped. And when a girl is drunk and someone happens to slip their penis inside of her, then it is not considered rape because she wasn’t conscious enough to say no. What kind of twisted reality is this?

Men have always had more privileges over women. That is not the raging feminist in me talking, that is a fact. They’ve had the right to go to school longer than girls have. They get paid more and get respected when they sleep around. A girl who does the same? She’s a whore. A girl who is a boss or a manager? Must be a bitch. And let’s not forget to mention how women basically ruined the whole world (I’m looking at you, Eve.)

When a male attacks me, I am not allowed to be a victim. If the story breaks, then there will be quite a few people who will choose the side of the perpetrator and they will probably say that I had it coming. That I was a slut. Why? Because I am a female and because we’ve grown up in a culture in which it is deemed acceptable to approach women aggressively and demand their bodies for the male pleasure. And not all men are like this. There are plenty of good men who would never in their lives dare to even dream about treating a woman the wrong way. But unfortunately there are also plenty of men who have not been raised this well.

So no, the solution is not to keep a distance between strangers. The solution is that we need to change the way we think. Stop the victim-shaming. Teach boys that they have to respect women and that women are equals. Do not teach girls fear. Do not teach them shame about expressing who they are whether it be with make-up or the way they dress. Tell them that they are worth it and equal to boys.

When I was younger, I would get men who sat next to me on the train and tell me that I was horny. I had a guy touch me between my legs and I froze, not knowing what to do. And yet I am the one who is wrong? That is not how it should be and that is not the kind of world I want my future children to grow up in.

Lady Gaga may have once sung that you can do what you want with her body, but what she says doesn’t go for all of us. We are women, not objects. We are equals, not slaves. We are human and do not exist for your amusement. My body is my body and I will not let anybody touch me inappropriately ever again and I hope that from now on we will teach our children how we are supposed to treat the other gender.

Sorry for this ranting post. I just had to get this off of my chest. Tomorrow there will be a happier post, I pinky-promise!

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Ingrid is the twenty-something owner of The Sassologist, who loves everything that has to do with pop culture. While she is one of many who is in the process of writing a novel, she is also currently in denial over not being a witch. Her Hogwarts letter has yet to arrive. In the meantime she writes about pop culture and dreams about unicorns.

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