Imagine me loving you.
Imagine us in a dark room. We are seated opposite each other but we can’t see one another. I know you are there. You know I am there. I can hear your fastened breathing as you try to find me. I can hear your sighs every time you fail to.
We do not know each other, but I know your name. I whisper it now and then, hoping you would reply with my name. You never do. I just sit here wondering.
Because I have seen your face before and I remember that even in a field of blooming roses, I only had eyes for you.
And I remember that you turned around and looked me in the eyes and there was no recognition, but there was kindness and it was enough to make my heart flutter. It as just a fleeting moment, but I wanted to get to know you. I wanted you to know me.
I watched you from afar for a while, like a shadow so ordinary you didn’t know I was there. And I saw the kindness turn into sadness. I saw the smile turn into tears. And I wanted to reach out to you but you didn’t know me. And so I let you ponder by yourself in a field full of roses that slowly withered at your touch.
Imagine how I held you through the cold nights like a blanket. Imagine how I stopped your heart from freezing. Imagine me being your warmth.
And imagine me holding your hand whenever you had to face your demons. Imagine me making you stronger so that you could win the fight.
Imagine me holding you close to me, whispering that all would be well again, if only you believe.
Imagine me. Imagine me.
Imagine my fingertips touching your skin until my lips touch your lips. Imagine the light in the darkness. Imagine finally seeing my face and knowing that it would get better. Would it have made you stronger?
Imagine me loving you. Would that have made a difference? Would it have made you see that life is worth living?
But we are in a dark room. You can’t see me, and I can’t see you. I can only hear your heavy breathing and at times, I can’t hear any breathing at all. And I whisper your name with tears in my eyes because I want to reach you but you are too far. And as a flicker of light appears in the room, your breathing stopped. It was too late. You didn’t see it anymore. And I whisper your name until the end of time. I cry a thousand tears because I imagine how you would still be alive if only I tried a little harder.
Because I love you. Just imagine.